Tale as old as time, us ladies are notorious for taking hours, and hours, to get ready and to be honest, we are SICK of hearing about it. Today, we settle the score and tell our men why it REALLY takes us so long to get ready. Share this with your sweetie and tell him to can it.
Just kidding fellas, we love you.
1. Our Clothes Never Fit Like They Did Last Time
There are TONS of reasons why our clothes may fit one day, but not the next, but here are a couple to help the men understand. For one, it depends on where we are in our menstrual cycle. I know, uncomfortable right? Some days in the month we are nice and thin and feel great, and others we are bloated and uncomfortable. Our tight skinny jeans may not fit us the same on bloated days as they did on our skinny days, okay? Another thing that I personally have noticed, is it depends on how long it has been since they were washed. If we take our jeans straight from the dryer and put them on, they will hug our every curve perfectly, but if they have been folded up in our drawers for a week, they somehow grow. Not kidding. They loosen up and don’t fit as well. It’s voodoo, I’m telling you.
2. Our Options Change with Every Tiny Thing That We Notice about Ourselves
“Are my legs shaved? Yes! I can wear shorts! Oh that’s right, I still have that mysterious bruise on my shin, where did that come from?” It never ends. Is it a fat day? If so then I can kiss that crop top good bye. I have even slumped to the “Does this shirt go with my hair?” Which reminds me…
3. THE HAIR
Our hair is like a whole other person that we have to get ready. Yes we could just throw it in a pony tail or a messy bun, like we do at home, and call it a day, but we don’t want to do that every day. If you think about it, we literally have to take a metal object that is heated up to about 450 degrees, and bend our hair with it. If we rushed through this, there’s a chance that we’d be going to the hospital to treat second degree burns, instead of out to dinner.
4. Makeup Takes FOREVER
We know that you tell us that we don’t need it, how sweet, but we also know that this is just a ploy to get us out the door faster. Some women skip the makeup and I aspire to be more like those women every day, but some of us like wearing makeup. It helps us to feel good about ourselves, and using our special woman magic, we can use it to slightly change the entire shape of our face and it’s features, if we want to. Rushing through makeup can result in an un-blended, face not matching our neck, foundation stains on our shirt, type of mess. If we drip foundation on our shirt, the we have to go back to square one and find a shirt that “matches our hair” all over again.
5. It’s Not Just Clothes
So finally we are dressed. Hair is done, eye brows look great, we are done right? WRONG! Aside from all of those things, some of us still have to pick out accessories, find a bag that matches our clothes, deodorant, perfume, double check our faces to make sure that we weren’t hallucinating when we picked that eye shadow, those sorts of things. It really is hard to be a woman.
These are just 5 of the reasons why it can take us forever to get ready. We do these things because we want to look good for you guys. You see us in our stretchy pants and mom buns every day, we want you to look at us all dressed up and remember why you fell for us in the first place. Next time your lady friend is spending 30 minutes analyzing her entire being in the mirror, just remember that she is doing it all for you. Including putting a magma hot curling iron an inch away from our eyeball. You’re welcome.