As people grow older, second chances can be a blessing. How many times in life have you wished for the chance to redo something from your past, especially now that you are older and wiser? For example, people tend to reflect on the things they’d do differently concerning rekindled past relationships with friends, lost loves or estranged relatives.
But, can re-connecting with a past love interest really re-spark the fire? Is it possible to resolve unfinished business and pick up where you left off? Here are six facts about lost love reunions that may provide some guidance:
6 Facts About Lost Love Reunions
Researchers have conducted investigations concerning rekindled lost-loves. One of the most recent studies included participants from 42 countries whose ages ranged from 18 to 95 years old. This is what the study determined:
- Once a Lost Love, Always a Lost Love: Only in rare cases do former sweethearts reconnect and maintain a new relationship at a platonic level. If there has been a longing for years or a feeling that the love relationship ended unfinished, it is likely the romantic feelings will return. This holds true even if both parties are married or involved with other partners.
- The Internet Makes Finding Lost Love Much Easier: These days, there is no need to go through family or old friends to track down a lost love. Today, married people can search for old flames online through social networking sites, search engines, and classmate finders that allow for discreet connections.
- Email is Ruining Seemingly Solid Marriages: A simple email seems safe, but obsessive thoughts can take over about “the one that got away.” This can happen even for those who had no initial intention of restoring an old love connection. If the email leads to a phone call or face-to-face meeting, you may be asking for trouble. It can be a sign that your marriage is crumbling, and you may be seeking a way out.
- Your Lost Love Appeared in a Dream: Many research participants interpret such dreams to be a sign to find the lost one and abandon the present relationship or marriage. In other words, they use the dream as an excuse to have an affair. For instance, most participants claimed that such love-connections were “predicted in a dream, it was destiny.”
- Some People are Just Curious or Want Closure: There really is no closure. If the reunion goes sour, some people may still appreciate the memories of their old flame from a time long gone. The open wound might not close even if they accept the romance will never be. If either person is in a committed relationship, it may be necessary for both to learn to live with the feelings.
- Be Honest with Your Spouse from the Start: If you are married and have been contacted by a lost love, tell your spouse immediately. Although the old flame may have no intention of raining on your parade, it is best not to keep it a secret. If you remain guarded, and only correspond with a couple of emails, with your spouse’s knowledge, it probably won’t hurt to catch up. But if you neglect to alert your partner and write in secret, the interactions are no longer innocent. You will be setting the scene for an extramarital affair and all the bad stuff that comes with it.
It is normal to daydream about how your life might have turned out if your first love never ended. But keep in mind – few people get to do this one over successfully. You can’t go back in time and be who you once were. Even for the reunited lost love couples who make it, it is not the same relationship.