First dates are almost always nerve racking; asking yourself questions like, “What should I wear?” “I wonder if he will like me?” and so many more. It is no wonder anymore these days that some of you swear you are going to swear off dating altogether. However, with that said, I implore you to read further and learn more about how to make your first dates better.
Before you start Dating: Understand Who You Are
One of the things I wish I had done for myself before I ever started dating was to understand who I am as a woman and person. Although I started dating in my 20’s, much older than most young women who typically begin dating in their teens, I had no idea who I was and I was always conforming myself to what I thought that man wanted in woman; this was especially true for the guys I wanted to be “THE ONE”.
It would not be until my last relationship that I realized that I needed to be on my own for a while and learn more about myself and what I truly wanted in life; and when the time came, the kind of man I wanted in my life. By having a clear understanding of who you are, you can be a better person for yourself and in the life of the person who enters in your life; even if it only ends up being the first and last date you ever have with them.
Dating is Hard but it can be enjoyable if you let it…
We have all been there, that dreaded but yet exciting first date; there is nothing like having a first of anything. You are either going to love it and remember it for all time or you are going to try your hardest to pretend it never even happened. The first date can end up a mixture of these things depending on how it goes. On your first date, you can change this be following this first Do. DO:
- Enjoy Yourself and Be Yourself
Regardless of the connection you may or may not feel on a romantic level, there can be a connection on a lifelong friendship level; you really can never have too many friends. There are laughs to be had and memories to be created. By allowing yourself to enjoy the moment for what it is and being yourself all the while, you are allowing yourself to just let things be as they are meant to be. This leads to the first DON’T to follow. DON’T:
- Have a Negative Attitude
You may not be attracted to your date at first or even second sight but this does not mean you have to miss out on having a good time. Your attitude is everything and can make or break the situation as a whole. What does this mean? Well, as stated above, there are laughs to be had and memories to be created; having a negative attitude because you do not have a romantic connection can change the whole date overall and leaves you as a person in a not so flattering light. Following this don’t with this do and you will be sure to leave a good impression of yourself and on yourself. DO:
- Leave Room for Unexpected Possibilities
So what if there was not an instant romantic connection, that does not mean there will not be one in the future. Some of the best relationships I know of started out as the best of friendships. In many relationships, being friends first is what makes the romantic portion of a relationship that much better. Even if it does not end in “Happily Ever After…” you still want to leave room for the unexpected possibilities. And with that you want to understand how to follow this next don’t. Whatever you do, DON’T:
- Have High Expectations
There are far too many of us who expect the next man we meet and go out on a date with to be, “THE ONE”; at least this is how my thinking was for the longest time before I met my current boyfriend after not dating for 4 years. 4 years ago with every first date I had, I had the expectation that he was, “THE ONE”. While this could be true, this is an expectation that is a bit too much even if your date does not know this is your expectation. By going into your first date with your eyes wide open and just enjoying it for what it is you leave room for reality; whether it is pretty or not.
The first date and dating in general is not easy. There are several things that can make it or break it before it even gets its start, none more important than you and your mindset which will be reflected in your demeanor and attitude as a whole. If you go into it with an open mind and, the idea of regardless what happens, to have a good time; you will have a good time. Essentially, it lays on you to make the choice of what kind of first date you will have.