First dates for both experienced and novice daters can be nerve wracking to say the least. Regardless of experience and how or why the date came to be, the best way to assure it goes smoothly is to be prepared. Having some kind of plan will help the night run smoothly.
#1: Setting
Where the date takes place is one of the most important details. Choose a location that is comfortable for you, interesting for both of you (but more so for your date), and accessible. Comfort (which will be covered later in more detail) will help everything go more smoothly. Being in an interesting location will provide conversation and/or activity. Finally, a place that isn’t a hassle to find or get into will prevent pre-date stress.
#2: Physical Comfort – What to Wear
Remember that this event is just as much about you as it is about your date. In terms of what to wear – find a balance between looking good and feeling comfortable. If you are just downright not comfortable in a dress, don’t wear one! The same goes for all other articles of clothing (especially shoes). This is a date, not a fashion show. It is important to look nice, but looking nice does not have to pair with discomfort. Don’t wear something you wouldn’t wear on the third and fifth date as well – just be yourself.
#3: Mental Comfort – Having a Plan
Anxiety is quite a common reaction on first dates. To avoid an awkward evening, set up a plan for both of you to follow, as well as a private plan to guide yourself. Decide what you are going to do, where you are going to eat, a general length of time for the date to last, who is driving, etc. For your private plan, figure out things such as how much you are willing to share in conversation, what physical and emotional boundaries to uphold, and of course think of plenty of things to say. Unless the date is based around an activity, conversation is inevitably going to be the main focus of the night. Figure out a few topics of chit-chat as well as a few topics that you really want to get answers about to decide whether or not to go on a second date.
#4: Relax
Telling yourself to just relax for a moment can be difficult. This tip applies to a variety of situations. Prior to the date, don’t stress out about it too much – you will only hype yourself up and generate anxiety. Once the core details are taken care of, stop worrying about it. During the date, if a conversation is stressing you out, let your date know and change the subject. If you are stressing out over something you said, how you look, or something you did – don’t! Just take a breath and relax. Finally, after the date, once again do not evaluate every single little action or word. All that is accomplished by doing so is frustration and more anxiety.
#5: Be Yourself
As a final tip, just be yourself. This is a phrase heard over and over in society, but it is a helpful suggestion. First of all, by not putting on some charade of personality, comfort should come much more naturally. Also, those who act differently during the first date than they normally do may find that their partners are falsely interested in them. The point of a date is to get to know each other and basically “interview” the other person for the role of a romantic partner. Show him or her who you truly are.
By following these five tips, a woman’s first date should run quite smoothly. Some anxiety is bound to occur no matter what, but with no extra stress to deal with, the anxiety should subside quickly and you will enjoy your date.
